Afterglow

On my way from Douala to Paris I spent most, if not all, of my time looking back on my 12 weeks in Limbe, trying to make sense of it all.  When you're too close to something it is hard to see the bigger picture.  I was 3 months deep in this one and could barely see what was right in front of me anymore.  Even on my way from Limbe to Douala International Airport I could feel myself starting to let go and my thoughts clearing. 

I have been having trouble figuring out if I accomplished all or nothing of what I set out to and found myself getting more and more confused about what I had just experienced.  Then I arrived in Paris and was surprised to see two familiar faces waiting for me at the apartment.  My parents!  My 2 amazing parents have been in Paris for the past week touring and waiting for me to arrive to surprise me!  Spending the day with them, touring the Palace of Versailles and the Eifel Tower really helped to clear my head.  Sometimes in order to make sense of something as complex and significant as spending 3 months in Africa, you have to completely forget about it. 

I can assure you that as I burried my teary eyed face into my fathers shoulder, the only thing that mattered was the fact that I was with my parents. 

I can see clearer (not clearly just yet) that my 3 months in Cameroon were a success not despite the frustrations but because of them.  All of the situations I did not see coming, were not prepared for, or made had me react in a questionable way were what made up my unique experience.  It may not have been the romanticized and picture perfect 12 weeks I dreamt about, but nothing ever is.  And it was the 'imperfections' that pushed me to learn and experience even more than I ever thought I could. 

The world was not made in a day, it was not destroyed in a day, and it certainly can not be fixed in a day (or in this case, 84 days).  We learn to work with what we've got.  We do what we can.  We give what we can.  I spent 12 weeks in Cameroon trying to learn and share and teach and experience and I got it all, for better and for worse.  The more I think about it, the less I seem to remember.  The solution I have thus concluded is to stop thinking about it and bask in the sheer wonder that I am in Paris with my beloved parents and that I have 3 weeks ahead of me of visiting friends and travelling Europe. 

The lessons learned aren't going anywhere, my blog and thousands of pictures will help make sure of that.  I am taking it for what it is and accepting it all as the amazing experience I signed up for.  Now for the second phase of the adventure ... Europe.  First stop Paris.  Second stop Venice.  Third, London, then Edinburgh, the Amsterdam, then Toronto.  THEN, the most important part of it all, the afterglow.  The shining, beautiful moments that follow the experience where it all starts to make sense.  The further away from the adventure you get the more the reality of how the lessons can be applied to life are realized.

I learned that one from the Big Bang Theory.